{25 weeks} choosing joy

June 16, 2014

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From behind sunglasses hot tears streamed down my face watching a little boy run fearlessly from slide to slide at the park. I wanted to jump out of my car and crumple onto the stones of that playground.  It’s not fair.  Insensitive words and questions from people I love.  It’s not fair.   Undoubtful panic as I frantically wait for the sound of his heartbeat to fill the room from the doppler.  This. Is. Not. Fair.   People are asking more questions.  I have to remind myself that once, I was that girl who asked the questions that I thought women surely loved to answer.  “Awe! When are you due?” “A boy or a girl?”  How do I answer those questions without spilling out my heart to you though?  How do I smile and tell you that we are having a little boy, who is due in September, and that yes, we are excited but oh, do our hearts ache so badly.  Last week someone said to me, “A girl at home and a boy on the way- you have everything you could want!”  I couldn’t find any words.  I’m in this place of trying to find a balance, trying to honor him in my responses, and praying for grace, not understanding.  At 25 weeks we are inching closer and closer to the end of pregnancy and the beginning of whatever will follow.  More than ever, we need solid ground to stand on.  We need our faith.

All of these moments, moments that were never intended to hurt me, have left me feeling very fragile.  My heart said this isnt fair so many times in the last week that it left me feeling lost.  The thing about these new emotions is that my immediate response is to shove these feelings back down into my stomach.  Remind myself of how lucky I am, all of the things that I have, all of the blessings that surround me every single day.  And I do, I really, really do feel that way.  But you know what?  It’s okay to have a few fleeting moments of it’s not fair.  We are human, with human thoughts and human desires… and I need to let myself feel all of these emotions because they are part of our journey.  Raw and real and they refresh our faith.  They pull us back to the ground, and especially for me remind me that it’s okay to have hard days.  It’s okay to not understand.

Right after Locke’s first ultrasound, my friend said to me, “if you have faith there is no room for fear”.  I’ve struggled with fear for as long as I can remember, but in that moment I knew that she was right.  I had to stand up to that fear and let it know that it has no place in our home.  Faith is so much easier when it is just words.  It’s easy to say that you trust God’s plan- but when the plan gets rocky and you can no longer even see the road- how strong is your faith in that moment?  Do you still hand it all over?  Is your faith bigger than your fear?  I have to ask myself these questions every day.  I have to intentionally choose joy every single day, even as these days get harder.

Day by day, moment by moment we are trying not to search for things that are not in out grasp.  The “what if’s” and debates over choices that will be made have no place in our hearts yet.  Right now we have only today, and today is filled with joy because Locke is alive and well.

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shansig

Posted in Baby Maxey Updates | Tagged | 3 Comments

summer maternity essentials

June 16, 2014

Nearing the end of my 2nd pregnancy I have come to realize that there a few pieces that a pregnant girl must have.  Especially in the last trimester when discomfort and size are at their peak.  Here are my summer “can’t live without” pregnancy items.  They may seem simple but trust me, you can’t have too many of any of these things (and great gift ideas for all your prego girlfriends):

maternity_essentials1Denim Jacket a MUST for throwing over dresses on cool summer evening.  Also hides arms and gives a little structure and shape to your overall look.  Frankly this is an essential pregnant or not.  Don’t settle for just any old fit – find yourself one that you love! 2Maternity Shapewear something I discovered this time around that I only wish I would have the first time.  Yes, I realize it’s not the sexiest looking undergarment on the planet.  But if you want to wear something fitted and not worry about lines or bulges this will be your best friend.  (Be sure to get a pair in nude and black.) 3Fitted Maxi Dress as you all know I am obsessed with the maxi dress for warm weather maternity style.  A fitted version shows off the bump in the best way possible (especially when worn with the shapewear). 4Flowy Maxi Dress for those easy breezy days when you just want to feel comfy.  (And a much better option over something fitted when the temperature is super hot.)  If the bigger shape leaves you feeling well, bigger, simply add a belt right below the bust line. 5Side Panel Jeans I am not a huge fan of full panel jeans on warm days.  With that being said sometimes a girls just needs to wear some denim.  These fit nicely under the belly without making you feel like you are wearing them up to your chin.  6Maternity Tanks a girl cannot have enough of these.  Great for slipping under a dress, over jeans, under a jacket or wearing to bed.  If you are tall and tend to carry mostly in your belly go for the longer versions. 7Easy Flat Sandals when the bump is extra big bending over to put footwear on can be a challenge.  Cute and comfy sandals that go on with no fuss are the perfect solution. 8V-Neck Tees just as versatile as maternity tanks but with a little extra arm coverage.  Chose some with rouching at the sides for great shape around the belly.

Bought in different colors/patterns and mixed with accessories these pieces will get the bump through summer in a stylish yet comfortable way.   Pregnancy is undoubtedly beautiful after all, a momma deserves to feel it.

 

brandyjsig

 

 

 

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these things

June 13, 2014

Fruit, books and dad pants – these things make for a happy Friday!

pineapple_rompers_2014Pineapple Rompers – fruity fashion is all the rage with pineapples being particularly popular.  While I am not sure rompers will be suitable for my post-baby figure I can at the very least get my toddler in on the action. 1Wet Seal Pineapple Tube Romper/2Guess Pineapple Romper/3Old Navy Pineapple Printed Skirted Romper for Toddlers

Last Sunday I finally got around to reading The Fault in Our Stars (the last person on the planet to do so apparently).  Without a doubt it was good.  An easy read with likable characters and touching storyline – just what I want in a weekend afternoon book.  My SIL Mel pinned this list of similar books recently.  If it holds true I believe there will be plenty of easy reads in my summer weekend future.

7765d0de7390e89bcc6445f2cdc17c87Oh Jimmy Fallon, how I adore thee.  My favorite part is the way they are dressed.  Who doesn’t love a dorky dad dancing in their dad pants?

And last but most certainly not least these guys.  The first men to steal the hearts of our little girls, and the last who would ever break them.  Honored to celebrate two amazing dads.

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Cheers to all the great Dads out there!  Have a wonderful weekend everyone!

 

brandyjsig

 

 

Posted in holidays, kids style, outfits, style, web love | Tagged | Leave a comment

bourbon barbecue ribs

June 12, 2014

bourbon_barbecue_ribs_fathers_day_1If you really want to make Shan’s outrageously delicious brownies you are going to need some bourbon.  3 tablespoons to be precise.  This leaves quite a bit of whiskey goodness in the bottle.  The way I see it you have two choices – drink the leftover bourbon (a perfectly logical decision) or make yourself some mouthwatering ribs.  My man wanted to ribs and I aim to please (or maybe I wanted to post something meaty for Father’s Day…).

Meat in general is always scary for me due to the fact that a. I do not prepare or make it often and b. have to rely on others comments because it’s not something I consume.  With that being said I do enjoy making new things, regardless of whether or not I eat them.  Admittedly barbecue ribs at home had me a little hesitant – I feel like all over the country masters have their secret recipes and the ribs have to cook for hours on end in a very specific way.  When I spied this recipe on pinterest however I was sold.  The ribs are beautiful and the recipe, including a homemade sauce, could not be simpler.

First, combine your spices, you’re going to rub the ribs with this mixture later.

bourbon_barbecue_ribs_fathers_day_2Next grab a paring knife and remove the filmy membrane from the bone side of the rack.  This step was not my favorite.  At all.  (In fact editing the picture of it made my stomach turn a bit.)  After that disgusting task is complete you can rub your meat with spices, wrap in foil and stick in oven for 2.5 hours.

bourbon_barbecue_ribs_fathers_day_3While ribs are in the oven it’s time to whip up the sauce.  You get to use something called “liquid smoke”.  I opted not to read the label of what ingredients make up such a product, some things are better left not knowing.

bourbon_barbecue_ribs_fathers_day_4Once ribs are finished baking let them come to room temperature and set in the fridge overnight.  This will ensure that the meat stays on the bone while grilling.  And speaking of grilling all you have to do is baste those babies with the sauce a few times and they are ready to serve.

bourbon_barbecue_ribs_fathers_day_5 bourbon_barbecue_ribs_fathers_day_6bourbon_barbecue_ribs_fathers_day_7Serve ribs with extra sauce and beer (or bourbon).  According to the carnivores in my immediate family these were absolutely delicious.  Whether they were lying or not I cannot say for sure.  (But seriously, who’s going to tell a 9 month pregnant woman her food stinks?  A crazy person, that’s who.)  I can say with certainty though that they look impressive, smell amazing and came off the bone with little effort.  If I did eat meat I would give these babies a try.  According to my husband he will be eating these again and again.  Sounds like someone has some mastering of filmy membrane removal ahead of him…

Happy Barbecue-ing!

 

brandyjsig

 

 

bourbon barbecue ribs
 
Print
Ingredients
  • 2 racks of baby back pork ribs
  • ⅓ cup packed dark brown sugar
  • ¼ cup smoked paprika
  • 2 tbs cayenne pepper
  • 2 tbs garlic powder
  • 2 tbs onion powder
  • 1 tbs ginger powder
  • 2 tbs kosher salt
  • 1 tbs ground black pepper
  • Ingredients for bourbon BBQ sauce:
  • 2 cups bourbon
  • 1 cup ketchup
  • ½ packed brown sugar
  • 2 tbs molasses
  • 2 tbs Worcestershire sauce
  • 2 tbs malt vinegar
  • 1 tsp liquid smoke
Instructions
  1. Preheat oven to 350 degrees.
  2. Remove the filmy membrane on the bone side of the rack. This material blocks flavor reaching the meat and will make the ribs tough. With a paring knife, start at one end of the rack and carefully peel the membrane away from the surface of the last bone. Use a paper towel to grip and remove it with one easy motion. (Slow and steady wins the race here.)
  3. Combine all spices and rub 2 to 3 tbs into each side of rib racks. Store leftover rub in airtight container for future use.
  4. Wrap racks separately in foil and place in oven for 2.5 hours.
  5. While ribs are baking, combine the wet ingredients in a saucepan and bring to a boil. Simmer over low heat until the sauce has reduced to about half.
  6. After the ribs have finished baking, let them cool to room temperature and leave them in the fridge overnight.
  7. Turn your gas grill to medium high. Brush both sides of racks before placing on grill. Baste and turn frequently until the sauce is caramelized and charred.

recipe from Honestly Yum

Posted in recipes, what's cooking | Tagged | 3 Comments

bourbon bacon pecan brownies

June 11, 2014

bacon_bourbon_pecan_ brownies_fathers_day_dessert_1 Savory and sweet, these are by far the manliest brownies I have ever made.  A shot of bourbon, crunchy pecans and yes, bacon.  I had to work up my courage to try them because I know that bacon in sweets is all the rage right now- but something about it feels wrong to me.  With Father’s Day in mind, however, I thought it was now or never for a bacon experiment.  One bite and it all became clear, I am no longer a sceptic.  Bacon just might have a place on a brownie.. at least for Father’s Day. bacon_bourbon_pecan_ brownies_fathers_day_dessert_2bacon_bourbon_pecan_ brownies_fathers_day_dessert_3 These brownies are a bit more work than buying and whipping up a premixed box for Dad, but if you’re really trying to treat your guy I promise they are worth the extra effort.  All of the texture, combined with the savory bacon and unmistakable hint of bourbon makes these brownies extra special! bacon_bourbon_pecan_ brownies_fathers_day_dessert_4

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This Father’s Day I am feeling extra grateful for Josh, and the other men in our lives.  Being a great dad goes so unnoticed in our society today, and too many times the ones that are screaming from the rooftops about what a great dad they are, are not.  The ones that truly are fly under the radar.. they don’t need you to know how deeply they love their families, it just shows.  It’s in moments that he could lay her in bed but chooses to snuggle her a few minutes longer instead.  The times that he reads the same Belinda Ballerina book 3 times in a row without complaint, because she wants to hear it one more time.  It’s in the moments that I catch him staring at her in the rear view mirror, with a grin on his face that I never saw before having her.  365 days a year, 24 hours a day, a job that never ends and you can’t take breaks from.   These dads, they certainly deserve more than one day a year on our calendar.  Their payment comes in the form of tiny kisses on the cheek, the sleepy “I love you daddy” she murmurs in the early morning hours.  Little moments that can not be captured on a camera, they just live in our hearts.. shouting louder than any words ever could, telling the stories of our lives, the grounding moments that make the world stop spinning.

Take time this weekend to really show your guy some love, because they may not always get the recognition that they deserve, but we certainly appreciate them. (And nothing shows him appreciation more than bacon.  Seriously.)

shansig

 

bourbon bacon pecan brownies
 
Print
Ingredients
  • ½ lb sliced bacon, cooked (with fat reserved)
  • 8 oz bittersweet chocolate, chopped
  • 2 oz unsweetened chocolate, chopped
  • 1 stick plus 2 tbsp unsalted butter
  • 1 cup granulated sugar
  • ½ cup light brown sugar
  • 3 tbsp reserved bacon fat
  • 3 tbsp bourbon
  • 4 large eggs
  • 1 tsp salt
  • 1½ cups all purpose flour
  • ¼ cup unsweetened cocoa powder
  • ½ cup chopped pecans
Instructions
  1. Preheat the oven to 350F and line a 9-inch square pan with parchment paper. Spray the paper with vegetable oil and set aside.
  2. Cook the bacon over medium heart until crisp, draining on paper towels when done. Reserve 3 tbsp of the fat from the pan.
  3. In a saucepan melt chocolate with the butter, stirring frequently. Scrape into your mixer bowl (a large bowl and a hand mixer can be used also!), add sugars and bacon fat and beat well. Add the bourbon, followed by the eggs and the salt. Sift in the flour and cocoa powder. Beat until combined.
  4. Scrape the batter into the prepared pan, and use a spatula to evenly spread. Add the chopped pecans and bacon to the top, pressing down on them very gently.
  5. Bake for about 50 minutes, until edges are set. A toothpick will not come out clean from the center, but it will set while cooling. Cut into squares once cool and enjoy!

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{Original recipe by Food and Wine }

 

Posted in recipes, something sweet | Tagged | 3 Comments