pregnancy & infant loss awareness

Last night Instagram was beautifully flooded with images of candles being lit to celebrate and remember everyone effected by pregnancy and infant loss.   Like so many other women this is something that is close to our hearts as we have both experienced the grief and heartbreak first hand of loss.  The journey we have been on this year surrounding Locke’s pregnancy and birth have really brought light to just how many families experience loss, and how healing sharing our experiences with eachother can be.

10600614_10152774376783529_1532980347666014034_nLoss can look so many different ways.  6 weeks into your pregnancy, a devastating diagnosis in your second trimester, an unexpected stillbirth, SIDS, cancer, fertility challenges… the list goes on and on.  Whatever  the circumstance, whether you held them in your arms or only in your womb, a loss is a loss and the pain is real.  So real.  Until recently, these experiences were swept under the rug.  Pushed to the back corner of your mind, locked away with the things you don’t like to think about, let alone talk about.  But then, we started talking.  We started saying out loud “me too” when a friend suffered, instead pretending it had never happened.  Like any experience, there is beauty to be found buried in the ashes.  If nothing else, your story could be the crutch that someone else needs.. it can change a decision they might someday regret, it can change the way we value the most valuable thing of all.. life.  

Chances are, if you haven’t before felt the effects of miscarriage or infant loss you know someone who has. Statistics say 1 in 4 women will experience the loss, 1 in 4. That’s a lot of women who need a shoulder to cry on, an ear to listen or simply a comforting hug.

There are 1000s of beautiful stories to be found on the internet. Women (and men) who dreamed of child they never got a chance to raise. Their hearts are genuine and their words are powerful. Here are a few links of many that have spoken to us:

Mazelle Joy
Jaxton’s Story
How to talk to a person who’s lost a child. From someone’s who’s been there.
The Wiegands: Heartache & Baby Loss
After a Miscarriage, Seeking Permission to Grieve

Always know that regardless of whether you have experienced loss or not you can mean the world to someone by simply listening.  Reassure them that their feelings are valid and their loss is worth remembering.  We would like to invite all of you to share your stories here with us.  Whether it be a fertility struggle, early miscarriage or saying goodbye to a baby you just said hello to.  We want to hear the words your heart needs to say and know your experience.  We are 1 in 4 and sharing with all of you has made a world of difference to us.





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2 Responses to pregnancy & infant loss awareness

  1. Lori says:

    Shan, you may not be aware of this but I’ve had two miscarriages. You’re right, it took me years to get over the first one. Every time I heard of someone having a miscarriage it brought that pain back. I think that one affected me most because I had back surgery early in the pregnancy which I felt caused the miscarriage. The doctors told me it had nothing to do with the miscarriage, but the timing said otherwise. Sometimes I still think about those lost children and even though the miscarriages were 23 and 19 years ago, I still wonder who those children would have been today.

  2. Miranda says:

    I have been following your family story and you are all truly amazing and Locke is so blessed to be a part of your wonderful family. I always see pregnancy and infant awareness day come and go but I typically do not share. But reading here you are correct there might be someone out there that needs to hear my words, because I sure searched high and low for someone in a similar situation as me during my time of need. So.. my story is of pregnancy loss. It was early on pregnancy #2 we were super excited, only a few people know but could not wait to share the news. Then at 7 weeks I had some spotting which made me call the doctor and set up an ultrasound for the next morning. That morning was the longest morning of my life. I just had a feeling… and during the ultrasound there was a heart beat, but the ultrasound tech still looked concerned. Then she showed me that the baby was in my tube, still alive, still growing, ready for my tube to burst at any moment. So anyone who knows about an ectopic pregnancy knows there is only one thing to do… so I went in for surgery and unfortunately they had to remove my whole tube because of the damage done thus cutting down my fertility. It was a heard moment. But I had my little boy to hold on to and get through these moments (we may have developed bad .. sleeping with mommy habits at this time). and exactly one year and 6 days later our baby girl was born 🙂 I look at her and still think about the baby up in Heaven, but that God chose to give us the most amazing little girl! During the time following the ectopic pregnancy I wanted support.. I wanted to talk to someone who was missing a tube … I just wanted to know everything would work out. Unfortunately I did not find that person but had an amazing family to lean on and God answered our prayers with our sweet little girl!