Last night Instagram was beautifully flooded with images of candles being lit to celebrate and remember everyone effected by pregnancy and infant loss. Like so many other women this is something that is close to our hearts as we have both experienced the grief and heartbreak first hand of loss. The journey we have been on this year surrounding Locke’s pregnancy and birth have really brought light to just how many families experience loss, and how healing sharing our experiences with eachother can be.
Loss can look so many different ways. 6 weeks into your pregnancy, a devastating diagnosis in your second trimester, an unexpected stillbirth, SIDS, cancer, fertility challenges… the list goes on and on. Whatever the circumstance, whether you held them in your arms or only in your womb, a loss is a loss and the pain is real. So real. Until recently, these experiences were swept under the rug. Pushed to the back corner of your mind, locked away with the things you don’t like to think about, let alone talk about. But then, we started talking. We started saying out loud “me too” when a friend suffered, instead pretending it had never happened. Like any experience, there is beauty to be found buried in the ashes. If nothing else, your story could be the crutch that someone else needs.. it can change a decision they might someday regret, it can change the way we value the most valuable thing of all.. life.
Chances are, if you haven’t before felt the effects of miscarriage or infant loss you know someone who has. Statistics say 1 in 4 women will experience the loss, 1 in 4. That’s a lot of women who need a shoulder to cry on, an ear to listen or simply a comforting hug.
There are 1000s of beautiful stories to be found on the internet. Women (and men) who dreamed of child they never got a chance to raise. Their hearts are genuine and their words are powerful. Here are a few links of many that have spoken to us:
How to talk to a person who’s lost a child. From someone’s who’s been there.
The Wiegands: Heartache & Baby Loss
After a Miscarriage, Seeking Permission to Grieve
Always know that regardless of whether you have experienced loss or not you can mean the world to someone by simply listening. Reassure them that their feelings are valid and their loss is worth remembering. We would like to invite all of you to share your stories here with us. Whether it be a fertility struggle, early miscarriage or saying goodbye to a baby you just said hello to. We want to hear the words your heart needs to say and know your experience. We are 1 in 4 and sharing with all of you has made a world of difference to us.