{22 weeks} A name for you, my sweet.

Saturday marked 22 weeks.


Yesterday I saw our OB for the first time since our initial ultrasound.  I was anxious to see her because I knew that her personal experience with these sort of pregnancies would be of much greater value to me than the stories you can find online.  Confidently, I can tell you that we trust and feel comfortable with her- she is an incredible woman and an incredible doctor.  As she shared her experiences my perspective, again, changed.  With compassion in her eyes, she told me that with her Trisomy 13 cases she has never had a patient carry to term, and she has never had a live birth.  These babies simply “run out of steam” somewhere along the way, as she put it.

I wish that right now, you and I could sit down with big mugs of coffee and I could tell you where my heart is.  It’s hard to type out, the words don’t seem like enough.  Why am I writing all of this?  Why am I sharing?  It’s not because I am strong, or collecting prayers in hope of a miracle.  To me, the miracle of his life is already here, it’s already living among us.  I’m sharing him with you because I want you to feel him in your life.  I want you to hug your babies tighter, and know that tomorrow is not promised.  I want you to search for the beauty in the heartbreak, to see God’s hands working all around us.  I want you to know that that one “thing” that you thought you could never do, your heart couldn’t possibly handle… you can.   It hurts, but you can.  My heart has been emptied out, but it is being refilled with grace every single day. 

Josh and I have had so many conversations since those heartbreaking ultrasounds.  We are trying to wrap our hearts and our heads around all possible outcomes.  Of course we are hopeful that he will beat the statistics, but we are also accepting that we can not change the outcome of this.  We are trusting that this will all unfold the way it is suppose to, and that slowly, beauty will bloom from all of this pain.

Meeting with our doctor made one thing clear.  My days of carrying him may very well be numbered.  I am searching for ways to really soak up every second of my time with him, to figure out who he is through every kick and roll.  A huge part of this for us was naming this little boy.  Something strong, because we know he is.  Something beautiful.  Something with meaning.  Something we will forever cherish.  Timeless, endless, heart-filled.

A little boy, forever locked in our hearts.






To read about our journey from the beginning, see here.

Spread the love!Pin on PinterestShare on FacebookShare on Google+Tweet about this on TwitterShare on TumblrShare on YummlyEmail this to someone

you may also enjoy...

This entry was posted in Baby Maxey Updates and tagged . Bookmark the permalink.

9 Responses to {22 weeks} A name for you, my sweet.

  1. Lindsey says:

    A good friend of mine introduced me to your struggle. My heart breaks for you and your family. I love the name you chose for him. It’s perfect. I’ll be praying for yall.

  2. Lindsay says:

    Shan, I just love reading the words you write, and the name you’ve chosen is just perfection! Thank you for sharing with us. Ooxx.

  3. Shelley Adam says:

    You are an amazing young woman Shannon and altho I don’t know Josh as well he has to be a amazing young man. thank you for sharing. Keeping you in prayers always.

  4. Tracy Armstrong says:

    Simple one of the most beautiful and serene messages I have ever read from a mother. Shannon, you are far past your years in spiritual growth and maturity. Your husband, Josh is a strong and loving person and you are lucky to have him. The name you both have chosen for your son, Locke….takes my breath away. Beautiful, just beautiful. With love from Greenville, SC

  5. suzanne says:

    Beautiful name for your precious son.

  6. Trista says:

    Praying for you!! Please look up Lori Street Whitmore up on Facebook. She has a son living with full Trisomy 13. She would be able to help you with some awesome resources!! Praying for Strength!!!

  7. Shannon,
    I am sharing your journey on both my business page and my personal page, I hope you don’t mind. I think it is important that your story is shared. There are many people who are struggling with similar issues and your words could be just the key to unlock the love, courage and strength in their hearts. My heart weeps for you–I am praying healing prayers, sending positive vibes and loving thoughts to you, Josh and Adelyn.
    Love, Aunt Ness

  8. Maria Magoulas says:

    I was in Vickie’s store today and she told me you’d given your blessing a name. Of course you know Vic, she couldn’t get through saying his name without tears in her eyes, so here we are both crying at the beauty this little boy has brought into this world. I’m praying for you, your husband and both of your children! <3

  9. Emily Piacentini says:

    Your “reason” for sharing has, for me, been received loud and clear. I have been “hugging my baby tighter” every day since your very first update about baby Locke. Life is full of uncertainties and something unexpected like this could happen to any one of us, and reading your updates has encouraged me to “search for the beauty in heartbreak” when something like this happens in life. Thank you so much for sharing your experience and for the encouragement. Continued prayers for your and your family! <3

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *